U&Dave have chosen their Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2024 from a shortlist chosen by a panel of UK comedy critics and a public vote.
The winner of the award is comedian Mark Simmons who has been on the Fringe for ten years and is appearing in “More Jokes” at PBH’s Free Fringe at Liquid Room Annexe. After Edinburgh he will embark on a 200 date tour. He has been placed 9th, 6th and 2nd in previous years.
Mark won with this joke:
‘I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it‘
Judges who went to see hundreds of Fringe shows submitted their top ten jokes. These were then put out anonymously to a public panel of 2,000 people who awarded Simmons 40% of their votes.
Mark said: “I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe. I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, can’t understand it, I always gave 110%.”
Cherie Hall, U&Dave Channel Director, said “We are ecstatic to announce this year’s winner of U&Dave’s Joke of the Fringe, Mark Simmons, and his winning joke. This year’s Top 15 list features a hilarious blend of jokes that are sure to keep us laughing until the next Joke of the Fringe! It’s already been an exciting year for us, with the return of World’s Most Dangerous Roads and the launch of Battle in the Box, while we are looking forward to Jamali Maddix: Follow The Leader and Will & Ralf Should Know Better. With the Joke of the Fringe now in its fifteenth year, U&Dave is still committed to supporting great comedy and brilliant gags.”
This year a new trophy is awarded after the new brand U was just launched last month.
Previous winners of the coveted Joke of the Fringe Award include Lorna Rose-Treen, Masai Graham, Ken Cheng, Olaf Falafel, Tim Vine, Rob Auton, Stewart Francis, Zoe Lyons and Nick Helm.
The 2024 top jokes included:
- I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. – Mark Simmons
- I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back. – Alec Snook
- Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful. – Alex Kitson
- I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. – Arthur Smith
- I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.- Mark Simmons
- My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes – Olaf Falafel
- British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? – Chelsea Birkby
- I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it. – Masai Graham
- My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had – Zoë Coombs Marr
- The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati. – Olaf Falafel
- I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’. – Sarah Keyworth
- I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard – Roger Swift
- Gay people are very bad at maths. We don’t naturally multiply. – Lou Wall
- Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher – Sophie Duker
- Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1% of people – Olga Koch
Founding Editor of The Edinburgh Reporter.
Edinburgh-born multimedia journalist and iPhoneographer.
