Mother’s Day, forget it once and have the date tattooed on your forehead for ever more. I used to think Mothers Day was rather overrated, and then I incubated a child for a sober and smoke-free nine months and boy, did I change my tune.

You must remember that to bring you into the world your mother has been in some embarrassing positions, and that’s before we even get to the birth. Then welcome to a lifetime of worry, anxiousness and the soppy kind of love that makes others want to heave. Goodness knows it’s a privilege.

So whatever your budget, try to do something special for your dear old mama on the 31st March. Even though you’ll be paying, you’re still her baby: truth! Here’s suggestions for three and more different kind of mums. 

Old Ma Booze Hound

Pickering Gin at Summerhall have a distillery escape room, the idea that you have to get out of a distillery. Why would one want to? At a minimum of two players this could be a bonding experience or send in your most hated sibling and hope for the worst.

The ceased caring about the waistline mother

Does anyone else remember the days before afternoon tea? It was only for elderly matrons from Morningside as their monthly treat after a wild spree in the twin set section of Jenners. From what I recall, afternoon tea in those days tended to be dainty and light, not the scone, cake and pie fests of today. Mimi’s Bakehouse, the Balmoral, the possibilities are almost endless . I’m reliably informed that afternoon tea is the highest selling voucher on sites like Groupon and Itison. But for mum’s sake don’t be a cheapskate, pay full price.

Oh dammit, I’m skint on Mother’s Day

No excuse, pal! If you visit a budget supermarket you can purchase some pretty great quality brunch ingredients and a decent bottle of fizz for way under £15. And all your mummy wants you to do is make an effort, so get the frying pan out along with the excuses!

Mother’s Day but not as you know it

I think Mother’s Day is a nice time to remember women who have been an invaluable influence or inspiration to you. For a thoughtful gesture, but not too over the top, I like to opt for a really special bar of chocolate. Cocoa Chocolatier is Willy Wonka for grown ups. Innovative but purely delicious flavours in elegant wrapping, each by a different artist. Rhubarb, Ginger and Milk Chocolate for me please!

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