So, here it is….Merry Christmas, everybody’s having fun. Or are they…?
Chaos in the kitchen
Screaming grandchildren wreaking havoc
Mountains of wrapping paper which, having been carefully pieced together just days before, now lie in a crumpled mess all over the house
Inordinate amount of boxes of Celebrations, Roses, Quality Street and sweets you don’t get at any other time of the year. No Brazilian nuts this year please…
Pairs of novelty socks or a novelty tie which you wouldn’t be seen dead wearing
A woolly jumper which is too small and quite hideous
Wearing a bloody stupid paper hat and trying to keep the cheap plastic inserts from the cheap Christmas crackers away from the brats – sorry, loveable grandchildren (still wreaking havoc)
Inedible turkey covered in gravy which is too rich and accompanied by Brussel sprouts that are as hard as bullets
Roast potatoes which will crack laminated flooring if they fall off your plate
Christmas pudding which looks and tastes like something you wouldn’t give to the dog
Listening to Granny’s woes and how Christmas isn’t what it used to be
Repeats of Morecambe and Wise and The Two Ronnies on the telly (because even the BBC recognise that much of today’s comedians are frankly rubbish. David Mitchell? Jimmy Carr? Little Britain? I’ve had more fun visiting the dentist)
Thinking of many other places you would rather be (or is that just me?)
Thinking that Christmas today has become so commercial, relentless and expensive – and really not that much fun (again – is that just me?)
So here it is…Merry Christmas. To all Edinburgh Reporter readers, I sincerely hope your Christmas will be a happy one. Look to the future now – may 2015 be everything you want it to be.
Author of The Team for Me - 50 Years of Following Hearts. Runs Mind Generating Success, a successful therapy practice in Edinburgh. Contact me if you want rid of any unwanted habits. Twitter @Mike1874
