‘What are the odds? All those billions of Twitter account holders having anything worth saying?’ Simon Jay, ‘Performance Satirist’ presents the ultimate in sub-prime, primeval slime anti-social media crime. The soporific, flatulent invasive ennui of not even having the nounce to switch it off. This is a cracked-speed-ball Black Mirror perfect for radio reality distortioned spam-dimensional nightmare.

Computer Science, High School tutor, John Lewis, is assailed by relentless Tweeters bemoaning the late delivery of their fridge-freezer. The snap-chat, the clap-happy crap synapse snappy comment-boards and labyrinthine password plagues are all laid bare. What is sane man to do? Assume string-of-pearls multi-personna diversions – obviously.

Savouring the ubiquitous pre Christmas peek-cool triumph of being the first to YouTube the new John Lewis mucus-clinging family advertisement? What ever turns you off. The show is audio punctuated by screw-driver in the ear tweet tones. The crafted special-sound effects are of a subtle magnificence themselves alone.

And what about Customer Service phone-lines? We’re in Edinburgh no? Alexander Grahame is a complete bell-end for his damned invention. ‘Your call is of value to us – please hold the line – or, maybe just hang yourself with it and save us all the tension.’ – so to speak. This dystopian antidote to carnal digitisation strongly suggests it is just about time get the Trumpaggedon the hell outta here – the eternal drone of a disfunctional vaccum-cleaner giving it self a blow-job. Finishes on the 26th. Give your hope and soul a much-needed make-over – just go, alright! Free as well but you might want to chip & pin in for good-time’s sake. Computers again, eh? What’s that you’re saying HAL…’real-life comedy’ A ha!