The Edinburgh Reporter’s Mike Smith clearly wasn’t impressed with what was on television over Christmas. Well, he isn’t impressed any other day of the year so why should Christmas be any different…?
It is, perhaps, another sign of being a fifty something that one of the many gripes I have about life is the lack of entertainment one can glean from television programmes these days. Christmas Day merely underlined just how much tosh is produced for the small screen in an age when celebrities rule (for celebrity this can also mean non-entity) and people with next to no talent can achieve ‘fame’ On Christmas Day the terrestrial channels in the UK – BBC, ITV and Channels Four and Five – had schedules so bland it made my partner Marion’s attempt at Christmas dinner look positively drooling… (if you’re reading this, dearest, you know I’m only kidding. Does anyone know the name of a good lawyer..?) In years gone by, the BBC and ITV would put their Christmas Day faith in a big family entertainment show such as Morecambe and Wise or The Two Ronnies or a big film such as the latest James Bond release. ITV’s major offering this year – apart from the obligatory hour long episode of Coronation Street – was Downtown Abbey while the BBC went with the tried – or should that be tired? – and trusted Dr. Who (and the obligatory hour long episode of EastEnders) Predictably, both BBC and ITV stuck with a format that had brought above average ratings earlier in the year with special Christmas Day showings of Strictly Come Dancing and New You’ve Been Framed. In case any of their viewers didn’t realise it, ITV helpfully added ‘At Christmas’ to their programme title…
Add Paul O’Grady, The Queen’s Garden – right after the Queen’s Speech at 3.00pm – and the pantomime soap opera that is Emmerdale on ITV and Miranda, Call the Midwife (so a double dose of Miranda Hart – cheers…) and Mrs Brown’s Boys on BBC and the Christmas Day television fare was as banal as turkey and Brussel sprouts. Am I the only person who just doesn’t ‘get’ Mrs Brown’s Boys? A middle-aged Irishman dressed as a woman who swears a lot seems to be quite popular. Why this is so, I’m not quite sure…
The other terrestrial channels were no better. Channel Four showed a 26 year old Tom Hanks film – Big – and Alan Carr – Chatty Man who is about as palatable as a large plate of undercooked sausages wrapped in bacon. Channel Five showed a 46 year old film, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and a Chas and Dave Knees up – from 1982…
Boxing Day was little better. Naturally, Coronation Street and EastEnders were back on. Both the BBC and ITV resurrected ‘old favourites’ from years ago with Still Open All Hours on the Beeb and Birds of a Feather on ITV. If you tried your best to avoid Alan Carr on Christmas Day, then those crafty schedulers at Channel Four repeated the Chatty Man on Boxing Day. What joy…Meanwhile, Channel Five was stuck in the 1970s with Morecambe and Wise, Tommy Cooper’s Christmas Special and Carry on Christmas being given prime time slots. This would have been required viewing in 1974 but in 2014 it merely compounded the sadness of the festive schedules. In today’s age of multi-channel television with satellite and Freeview channels aplenty there is certainly more choice of viewing than when I was a lad. But, sadly, it means there is more rubbish on than ever before. As Christmas has proved for the umpteenth year in a row. On Wednesday it’s Hogmanay. No wonder we turn to alcohol at this time of the year…
Happy New Year, dear reader! (hic!)
Author of The Team for Me - 50 Years of Following Hearts. Runs Mind Generating Success, a successful therapy practice in Edinburgh. Contact me if you want rid of any unwanted habits. Twitter @Mike1874
Mike Smith is the atmosphere of cards. However the property and Edinburgh dog food of estate and energy. Cheers and cheese.
I wish I knew what that meant, Alan – but thanks for your comment!
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