Imagine if Jesus had a Linkedin profile. How would he big himself up? “Mind reader, life coach, wellness evangelist”, perhaps?
These thoughts and others on the pretentious, puffed-up language of corporate life are ruthlessly mined for their rich comic potential by James Schloeffel and Charles Firth, aka “Australia’s (and the internet’s) favourite overpaid consultants”, to quote their own self-aggrandisement.
Schloeffel, 44, from Melbourne, who used to work as a copywriter for marketing and branding agencies, and Firth, 48, from Sydney, a co-founder of the Australian satirical team The Chaser, are the “chief ideation ninja” and the chief solutions samurai”, respectively, of Wankernomics Consulting Solutions.
Having introduced themselves to the sell-out crowd, they set about stripping back the world of corporate “bullshittery” that involves never using one word where three will do (“don’t say ‘co-operate’, say ‘break down the silos'”); never letting on that you have no idea what you are doing, particularly in meetings; indulging in a spot of “MEAFA (making everything a fucking acronym)” wherever possible; and disregarding the principles of the English language, so that an idea gets ideated before becoming an ideation which inevitably entails a round of ideationing.
Their multi-unit presentation, which involves “upskilling” a supposedly “downsized” audience volunteer, includes a segment on the purpose of a work email. On a big screen, the words “communicate effectively with colleagues” are crossed out and replaced with “maliciously undermine your work colleagues while using an upbeat pseudo-polite tone”. There are knowing laughs as Firth exposes the hidden meanings behind idiomatic office lingo, with examples including, “‘As per my last email’, which we all know means, ‘I hate you’ and ‘With all due respect’, which translated means, ‘I have absolutely zero respect for you’.”
Expanding a single idea into a fully fleshed-out satirical show takes some doing and the Wankernomics duo succeed admirably, moving on from the office to rewrite film titles and then Shakespeare. Turning to “Macbeth” – “bit of a local play”, Firth observes – Lady Macbeth’s “Out, damned spot!” monologue is modernised to, “Ooh, no; got some blood on my hands. At least my husband got his promotion.”
Rewriting history for the corporate world, where “collaboration is key”, involves incorporating Microsoft Word track changes into some of the greatest speeches of all time. In one excellent skit, Firth dresses up as Abraham Lincoln, complete with a huge black top hat and a ridiculous beard, and sits down at a table with an Apple laptop while the Gettysburg address – which the 16th US president delivered in 1863 – is projected onto the screen.
It is then defenestrated by Peter, the social media manager, Sally from strategy, Kelly from marketing and others before “legal” covers the seminal document in blocks of red. As Microsoft Word unexpectedly quits and Lincoln stalks off stage, kicking his chair over, Firth quips: “We’ve got to remember that without the Gettysburg address American politics would be a total basket case now.”
Back in “the real world” of corporate magnification, the process of establishing company values, developing a purpose statement and creating a TV commercial, replete with meaningless platitudes, are systematically sent up as the show culminates in the audience “volunteer” spinning the Wankernomics TV commercial generator. All in all, it generated a lorra lorra laughs.
Wankernomics: As Per My Last Email Pleasance Courtyard (Pleasance One) until 26 August. https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/wankernomics-as-per-my-last-email
