How to celebrate Valentine’s Day in Edinburgh

This is the guide for the sweet, the sexy and the downright cynical!

Valentine’s Day: loved by makers of cards, growers of roses and sellers of all sorts of short-lived heart-shaped items, loathed by every teenage girl who hasn’t got a partner, or even worse, receives a well-meant card from her Dad. Fortunately, in the capital there are lots of ways to celebrate this questionable saint without the need for a Significant Other, or even significant amounts of cash; some events also give you the chance to help a charity.  And for those of you who really are In Love, there are plenty of romantic options too; read on….

Racking your brains for a place to propose to your beloved? The Edinburgh Dungeon could be your unlikely solution. All you have to do is submit your ideas for a dream proposal; the most ambitious and creative will be chosen to receive the full backing of the Dungeon’s performance team. Last year’s winner was Kevin Wells, who planned a musical proposal inspired by his hero Charlie Simpson; as he says ‘without the support of everyone at the Edinburgh Dungeon it wouldn’t have been half as amazing as it was. The Dungeon will always hold a special place in our relationship’ – for not only did girlfriend Laura accept, the couple are now expecting their first baby in July! So if you’ve got a great idea with which to sweep your partner of their feet, email Edinburgh.Dungeon@merlinentertainments.biz or follow @EdinDungeon on Twitter and send your proposal for a proposal to them via a direct message. All entries must be received by 14th February 2015.

Or perhaps you’d like to pop the question over tea and stickies rather than blood and guts? Cafe Modern Two at the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art could be your perfect place – they can serve you a mouth-watering afternoon tea for two for just £30 if you book in advance.

Doesn’t it look delicious? Anyone who put that lot in front of me would be on the right track…. If you’d like to book a table, contact the Heritage Portfolio people at the cafe or book online here. You can always burn off all that pastry by walking back along the Water of Leith. Or not.

Or maybe you’ve already proposed and now you’re embroiled in plans for the Big Day? Although customs come and go, rings remain somewhat popular; if you’d like something a little bit different, why not head to Coburg House Studios in Leith? There you can work with one of the resident jewellers to design something special – or you can make your own wedding rings with Donna Barry and Hannah Louise Lamb, who will guide you through every step of the process in a fully equipped professional workshop, of which you’ll have sole use for the day. For more details see www.makeweddingrings.co.uk. Another Coburg House artist, Lorna Hewitt can not only design your rings, she can also remodel a treasured antique piece – so if you have inherited a ring but feel it needs an update, contact Lorna via her website here. And if you haven’t quite made it to this stage yet……jeweller Julie Allison has just the thing; a pendant engraved with ‘Will You Marry Me?’

Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday this year; if that’s your usual shopping day – or even if it isn’t – you might want to head to Princes Mall, where Roaming Romeos dressed in tuxedos will be handing out heart shaped chocolates; you can find plenty of gift ideas while you’re there, plus an outfit for that romantic dinner. Just don’t eat too many chocolates after you’ve bought it….

One thing you definitely don’t need a partner for is the cinema; gone are the days when the only place courting couples could get any privacy was in the back row. If you’d like to enjoy some romance by proxy, the Filmhouse is offering Casablanca (U) and Wild At Heart (18) for one day only (14th February, durr…).

Casablanca, starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, is ‘a classic wartime melodrama…all the more romantic because it doesn’t exalt romantic love at all’; it’s showing at 5pm. Later – and the 10pm start may give you a clue as to its content – comes Wild At Heart, David Lynch’s ‘gloriously dark and twisted romantic melodrama, with a story of true love at its dark core’ starring Nicholas Cage and William Dafoe.

Variety magazine describes the film as ‘joltingly violent, wickedly funny and rivetingly erotic’. So now you know. Tickets for both films can be purchased online or by calling the Filmhouse box office on 0131 228 2688. Meanwhile at 1pm on Sunday 15th February the Cameo Cinema is showing Breakfast At Tiffany’s (PG): Audrey Hepburn stars as Manhattan good-time girl Holly Golightly in this adaptation of Truman Capote’s novel.

The lovely Sutton Gallery in Dundas Street is one of the sponsors of the Edinburgh Iranian Festival. With inspired timing it has chosen Valentine’s Day to host an evening of Persian poetry, music and visual art in conjunction with its Festival exhibition of the work of Hassan Meshkinfam. Hassan’s mixed-media creations interpret and illustrate the poetry of Nima Yushij through arresting, dreamlike images. Yushij (1896-1960) is often regarded as the founder of modern Persian poetry and has inspired many artists and musicians. Members of the Festival committee will read Yushij’s poems in Persian and English, with songs from musician Majid Mokhberi. There will also be a drinks reception courtesy of the Gallery. The evening will begin at 8.30pm and you can indicate your intention to attend on the event’s Facebook page.

Meanwhile on Friday 13th February the Usher Hall is offering Latin Passion, as the RSNO, with conductor Jean Claude Picard and harpist Xavier de Maistre, present a concert of De Falla, Rodrigo, Ginestera and some of the greatest movie love themes ever composed, with music from Cinema Paradiso, Superman and Out of Africa. The evening begins with a pre-concert talk at 6.45pm and tickets can be purchased online here or by contacting the box office on 0131 228 1155.

And after all that, maybe what you’re really looking for is a party – with or without Mr/Ms Right – in which case you’re going to be spoiled for choice (all of the following events are on Saturday 14 February unless otherwise stated)…

Teesh, the ‘all you can eat mind buffet’ regular club night is holding a Valentine’s Day Dance with DJ Cupid at Sneaky Pete’s in the Cowgate. Entry is £5 (+ booking fee), the fun starts at 11pm and carries on till 3am, Yes, it’s one of those things for Young People.  You can buy your tickets online here.

Feeling jaded? Fancy sharing the misery? At Henry’s Cellar Bar in Morrison Street they’ve got Full Moon Freaks (macabre surf, psychobilly junkyard blues), Norman Silver and the Gold (morose country and western) and Temple of the Dead Moth (sadcore), catering for ‘the unrequited and the recently dumped with music specially honed for the bitter unmatchable’. This ‘fully unromantic’ evening starts at 7pm and tickets cost £5: more details on the event’s Facebook page here. Or for something slightly more sedate, what about a Gin and Piano Evening? Celebrate Valentine’s Day with cupcakes, piano and Daffy’s gin at Sofi’s Bar, 63 Henderson Street. Starts 7pm.

There’s more partying at Cabaret Volatire’s Think Twice! Valentine’s Party, with Lay-Far, Craig Smith and Gary Sbr Ellis. 11pm-3am, Cabaret Voltaire, 36 Blair Street. Tickets £7/£6/£5. The Forest is planning a big night too, with Robert Sarazin Blake ‘The Beloved and Beardy Troubadour of the Pacific North West’, guests Billy Liar and Faith Elliot, plus The Lonely Hearts Club Jam and an installation,  All The Lonely People,  by Suky Goodfellow upstairs.  7pm, Forest Cafe, Lauriston Place, Tollcross. Free admission: BYOB.

Meanwhile, Scotland’s first recovery cafe, Serenity, is holding a Valentine’s DJ Night: 70s and 80s old school disco with DJ Mario McMuriel and guest DJ Karen Stevenson, and live performance and singalong with the Serenity Singers. 8pm-12 midnight, Serenity Cafe, 8 Jackson’s Entry, The Tun, 111 Holyrood Road. £4 per person. Serenity is run by people in recovery for people in recovery, and for public customers who want good value, good quality food in a relaxed space. All events are drink and drugs free.

For something a little different, Greenpeace Edinburgh are asking you to Make Love Not War! Go totally hippy and embrace the Greenpeace message at a 70s Disco for Valentine’s Day. Get your funky thread on – Greenpeace will paint your face with rainbows, flowers and hearts so that you can strut your funky moves with the polar bear. 8pm, The Counting House, West Nicolson Street. £5 per person on the door or in advance from eventbrite.

And on Friday 13th February one exclusively for the grown-ups –  LGBT History Month: Dive Presents Broken: a Valentine’s ball complete with caged bar, visual art, performance, blood artistry and burlesque. Strictly for over 18s only: includes strobes, nudity and body art. ‘It’ll break your heart to miss it’. 9pm-3am, Small Animal Hospital, Summerhall, 1 Summerhall. Tickets cost £12/£10 and can be booked online here or by calling the box office on 0131 560 1581. For more about LGBT History Month read The Edinburgh Reporter’s article here.

Finally, if you’d like to support a very worthwhile cause whilst reeling your socks off, what could be better than The Edinburgh Dog and Cat Home Valentine’s Ceilidh on Saturday 21st February?

Share the love and have a great evening at Summerhall – which used to be the Dick Veterinary Hospital, where many of the Dog & Cat Home’s residents were taken for treatment. Dance the night away with ceilidh band The Cannongate Cadjers in this impressive building; all profits will go to help stray and unwanted animals. 7.30pm-12 midnight, Summerhall, 1 Summerhall. Tickets cost £8 (+ booking fee) in advance from eventbrite or £10 on the door. For more information please call EDCH on 0131 669 5331.

And if you still want cards…how about this beautiful paper-cut version, made by Emma Westwater, who grew up in East Lothian and still lives in Dunbar. Her company is Source Design and her website is here.

Or these colourful creations from local artist Aimie Brown, on sale at the Skylark Cafe in Hamilton Place, Stockbridge:

So whether you want to celebrate True Love, wallow in self-pity, or just have an excuse to party, there should be something for you here. And don’t forget that afternoon tea; I can be bought…